Why is my queue on my other blog not working
Frustration
Fwee!
Yesterday was fun
I have work to do
I don’t wanna do any of it
FWEE.
Also thinking about deactivating this blog but too lazy to do that so I might just come back every week or two to say hi.
I will shout it from the rooftops
I love Idina Menzel.
Also this random girl named Anna who I just spoke to, but eh details.
Random thoughts
I remember when I first followed Nancy/she first followed me ;-;
She was my first fandom friend ;-;
And I’ve met her over the summer ;-;
And by January a year would have passed since I joined the fandom basically
;-; and tonight will be awesome becuase Brittana creys.
Lady writerly things.
For my Word, Usage, and Style class we had to write a personal essay on anger. Anger isn’t really…something I do well. I chose to focus my essay on gendered expressions of anger (i.e. being raised in a Caribbean household where being a “young lady” was really important) and how that’s affected my ability to express anger. My professor’s commentary was really insightful. He said, “The only weak links are ironically where the writing is slightly too “polite,” i.e., qualified. Also I wonder about your anger over this very issue.”
D: PERCEPTIVE, HOMIE, QUITE PERCEPTIVE.
I did use a lot of qualifiers to soften the impact of my writing, often saying “sort of” or “some sort.” It made me wonder about the effects of my highly gendered upbringing on my writing. I’ve been told before that my conflict between characters is often soft, not as strong as it could be. I do feel the need to use qualifiers. And I was really angry about this essay topic, frustrated that my professor would hand out the assignment so carelessly, frustrated with myself for not being able to express anger in the past, frustrated with the several causes of that. In fact, I had really wanted to start out my essay in a similar manner. I remember writing something like, “I am angry at this essay topic. I’m angry at you. I’m angry with myself for not being angry enough,” but then starting over for fear of being too straight-forward and blunt.
And then it leads me to question the whole nature of writing and publication in North American literature. Are men and their works more valued because they aren’t hindered by such limitations, in general? Is it harder for women to create conflict within their stories, which is often said to be the meat of any story, necessary for it to really be a story. For that matter, what does this imply about the writing standard as a whole, when we consider that mostly white males dictate what is “good” and “not good” in literature? Has conflict become an over-blown element in creating stories because men are encouraged to go after it, while women are encouraged to shy away from it?
Things to think about. I think on one hand, if you’ve internalized these messages that value docility as much as I have, yes, it’s harder to create conflict in stories or even speak in a less passive voice. However, writing can also be a form of therapy for those who feel they can’t create conflict in every day life. I don’t know. I’d be interested in taking a closer look at female v. male writers throughout different centuries and places to see how their conflicts and central themes differ. There’s probably some sort of study like that anywho.
But yeah, insightful assignments and professors make me happy. I wouldn’t have noticed this otherwise. Fuck yeah, learning things in college!
I’m hungry and not done with my essay.
I did sleep for nearly an hour though technically. So I’m kind of awake now. Mostly awake because of hunger.
I’m still here.
Unfortunately.
Alarm set for 5:15.
:| If I wake up later than 5:30 I should shoot myself so that I land in the hospital I’m just saying.
I just set way too many alarms
One for every hour. 5:15, 6:15, so on until 9:15, which is when I expect to be awake and to be wrapping shit up.
I technically have a shit load of time
I really want to sleep
So I’ll be gone for 15 minutes.
I hate me for doing this to myself :|
